The Boy I Missed
by I'm a Basket Case
Summary: Susan doesn't know what is in store for her on this new adventure in Narnia with her friend Jack and Caspian. She has to make a choice between Narnia or Home. As well as fantasy or reality. AU. Caspian/Susan, OC/Susan. Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
1. The Call

Chapter 1 The Call

"You must do as I instruct" snapped the teacher. He was just about a year older than her, but might be younger than her brother Peter. Susan quickly adjusted her stance. "Here let me help you." The teacher stepped behind her. He tapped her foot with his. Susan moved it until he stopped. He took her wrist and tilted it higher. "That is the proper fencing stance."

Susan Pevensie missed Narnia. She is over in America with her Parents on vacation while her father tours. Peter stayed in England and Edmund and Lucy are with their Uncle and Aunt. Susan felt bad for the two. The Scrubbs are not the most pleasant people to be around. Susan is taking advantage of some free time while in Washington to learn sword skills. This reminds her of Narnia and her wish to see Caspian again.

"Jack" Susan said pulling away from him. He stands too close sometimes, "Please."

"Come on," Jack rolled his brown eyes, "loosen up. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Maybe" Susan lowered her wooden practice blade, "Maybe I might hurt you."

"Susan" Jack shook his head, "you have yet to lay a single blow on me since we started these sparring lessons. You couldn't hurt me even if you wanted to."

"You don't know me" Susan raised her blade to signal she was ready.

"I don't know you, you say" Jack laughed as he raised his own, "one… two… th—"

She lunged at him and he easily knocked her blade out of the way. Susan blocked several of his strong attacks. Jack found his rhythm and was quickly pushing her back. Susan went for an opening as she blocked attack. He took a couple steps back after she punched him in the ribs. She followed though attack and knocked him behind the knees.

"Ah" Jack gasped as he fell to one of his knees. He blocked a powerful overhead blow and tackled her to the ground.

"Oof" She fell with his weight on top of her. "Get off." Susan pushed him off of her and rolled away. "That is no way to treat a lady."

"In a real fight it wouldn't matter" Jack grabbed for his blade.

"But this is just training" Susan said blocking his attack, "I'm not planning to carry a sword around for my whole life looking for someone to fight with. No. This is just something that interests me."

"It's the principle of being able to defend yourself, Susan" He said.

"The principle" Susan laughed. "Ouch."

"Don't let your guard down" Jack said, "and don't let the opponent distract you. It doesn't matter how handsome he is."

"Are you implying that you are handsome?" Susan asked as she tried to not look at his face. The thing is, he is handsome. Light brown hair framed the sharp features of his face. His strong arms were showing through some rips in his cream colored shirt that fit to his skin. The feeling of his body against hers makes her legs struggle to hold up her weight. In his brown eyes she sees Caspian, her first love. Her first kiss. Her first everything. Now Jack is making Caspian seem closer to her even though he is far way in the magical world of Narnia. Jack is making Susan miss Caspian even more.

"Gotcha" Jack smiled as he disarmed her, "Susan, you are letting your guard down. What is wrong? Is what I'm teaching you not enough?"

"I don't know" Susan said softly as she walked to the water pitcher to pour a glass for herself.

"Are you OK?" Jack poured a glass of water and took a sip, "you seem not yourself today."

"Do I?" Susan looked out the window.

"Am I working you too hard?" He asked with a worried tone.

"No" She said.

"Are you tired?"

"It's getting late" She lied, "I better be… what is that?" Susan looked at the water pitcher.

"What?" he said, "whoa." The water in the pitcher was magically increasing, over flowing the rim. The water in the cups was doing the same. "What is happening?"

"I don't know" Susan said taking a step back out of the way of the splashing water.

"I see something" Jack looked down at the rapidly growing puddle on the wooden floor, "I think it's a ship."

Susan looked down. Jack was right, there was a ship. This three mast ship was growing larger in the puddle. "Oh no." She realized what was happening.

"What is happening?" Jack looked at her.

"Take my hand" Susan stepped toward him.

"What?"

"Take it" She held out her hand to him. Jack looked at her weirdly as he took it.

As their fingers touched, a gale blew them from behind. The two fell forward and instead of hitting the wooden floor of the training room, they hit water. Susan looked around and saw and ocean spanning in all directions.


	2. The King's Ship

Chapter 2 The King's Ship

"Where are we?" Jack gasped, "What happened?"

"Jack" Susan said.

"What happened to my studio?"

"Jack."

"What?" He snapped at her.

"Calm down" Susan said.

"Why should I calm down?" Jack said, "How could I calm down? Where are we?"

"I think I know" She said "but where exactly, I don't—"

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Susan looked around.

"It sounds like…" A large wooden ship surged into view, "…a boat."

The ship sailed closer to them. The name Dawn Treader was printed on the bow with gold lettering. The once white sail have been stained yellow and brown. The green paint on the hull was chipped and peeled.

"Ahoy!" Said a voice from on the deck, "What do we have here?"

"Reepicheep?" Susan shielded her eyes from the sun.

"Lady Susan?" a mouse peered over the edge, "Rynelf, lower a rope, we have more crew members."

A scruffy man looked over the railing and threw down a rope. He hulled the two up one at a time to the deck.

"It is you Lady Susan" The mouse said.

"Yes, I think I know who I am, Reepicheep" Susan nodded. Jack looked around the deck at the different creatures, looked at Susan, then at Reepicheep, and fainted.

"Jack" Susan knelt next to him, "Jack." She gently shook him.

"Susan?" said yet another familiar voice.

"Yes I know my name and I know who I am" Susan rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder. She had to double take, "Peter, Ed, Lu… what is happening?"

"How should I know" Peter shrugged, "you should ask the King."

"The King?" Susan stood up.

"The King" Lucy repeated, "He is standing right behind you."

"I figured that out so far" Susan ignored the man behind her and knelt down next to Jack, "Jack, Jack… please get up."

"Who is this Jack" a dark haired man knelt next to her.

"He is my fencing instructor" Susan said.

"Susan" Jack's eyes opened, "I had a strange dream. I think we need to take a break and go easier next time."

"Jack" Susan said, "You were not dreaming."

"what are you talking about?" Jack smiled and began to laugh, "Of course it was all a dream."

"No it wasn't" Susan shook her head and helped him sit up, "Are you ok?"

"I don't know" Jack looked around at all the people, "where are we?"

"The Dawn Treader" said the dark haired man next to Susan, "The royal ship of the King."

"Who are you?" Jack asked.

"King Caspian" the man said, "Welcome, Jack."

"Thanks, I think" Jack said.

"Why are we here?" Susan asked Caspian without looking at him.

"We are going to Aslan's home" Caspian says, "It's a long and treacherous journey."

"Joy" Susan said with no feeling, "I don't know why you need me here."

"Are you sure?" Caspian said softly, "do you not remember?"

"yes, I do remember" Susan said, "I that was a long time ago."

"not that long" Caspian said just loud enough for her to hear.

"Excuse me" Jack said getting to his feet, "What is going on? Who is Aslan?"

"Aslan is a lion" Lucy said.

"Aslan is a lion" Jack repeated with a laugh, "now let me tell you, little girl, I'm Jack from that tale about the beanstalk. A lion… we are journeying to see a lion? Ha."

"Jack" Susan elbowed him, "don't."

"say another word about Aslan" Reepicheep drew his sword.

"I'm a fencing master, mouse" Jack said, "I'm sure whatever skills you have with that rapier, my size would over power you."

"OH" Reepicheep lunged at Jack.

"STOP!" Susan grabbed the mouse, "You are all acting like children."

"I wasn't doing anything, Ma'am" said one of the crew members.

"Take me back home" Susan turned to Caspian.

"I can't"

"Then how did you get me here?" Susan looked annoyed.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Susan gave him a look, "come on Jack, we're going back. Now."

"I'm beginning to like it here" Jack smiled at the mouse then at Lucy. Lucy glared at him, Reepicheep waved his sword. "Full of possibilities… imagine the lessons I could teach you here."

"I want to be taught safe and sound at the studio, Jack" Susan said taking his hand as she moved to the railing.

"Wait, Susan" Caspian rushed after her, "Susan."

"STOP IT" Susan spun around, "do you have any idea about how this makes me feel?"

"Sus—"

"If anyone says my name one more time, I'll kill them" She snapped, "I just want to go home, far away from this place. Far away from you all."

"What is wrong?" Jack asked her, "why are you acting like this?"

"You will never know" Susan said to Jack before going below deck.


	3. Love's Keen Secrets

Chapter 3 Love's Keen Secrets

Susan was hurt, torn between love and want. Having both what she longed for and what she wanted were clashing in her heart and mind. Caspian's eyes and Jack's smile haunted her very soul. She marched into the crew quarters and spun around, taking in her surroundings. There was no hammocks that were not occupied by personal items for her to lie on, no place to sit down without moving anything. No place for her to curl up and cry. Susan felt hopeless, trapped in a hole she can't get out. She leaned against one of the wooden pillars, slid down to the floor and began to cry. She hid her wet eyes in her knees, sobbing silently.

"Sue" Lucy knelt down next to her older sister, "What is wrong? You have been acting strange since we returned home, and now I don't know how to describe how you were acting. Something is up, you can tell me."

"I don't know" Susan said, "I feel torn, I don't know what is happening."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well, you remember Caspian and me" Susan began, "I felt so happy with him. Then we went back home and Aslan told Peter and I that we will not be returning. So, I moved on, but I still missed him. Then I met Jack. He promised to teach me all that he knew about sword play and martial arts. I was happy with him too. I don't know… I'm just confused."

"Susie" Lucy hugged her sister, "It's OK. You'll sort this out."

"I don't know what to do" she said into her sister's neck.

"You'll think of something, you always do."

"Lu?" Susan asked, "What would you do?"

"I would…" Lucy thought for a second, "I would spend time with each one to figure out which one makes me happier."

"But I don't want to hurt anyone."

"The only one you would be hurting is yourself, Sue, if you don't do anything."

Susan nodded, thinking strategy. She knew Jack would be the easy one. All she needed to do is tell him that she needed more practice fighting, and his hands are all over her. Caspian would be harder. Susan knew he would not like Jack being with her at all. Caspian has a temper she had to be careful of. Jack might lose interest once she starts hanging out with Caspian for long periods of time. This is going to more difficult than she thought.

"Susan?" Jack said from the door way, "What's got you acting like this? Is it Caspian? Or is it me?"

"I don't know whose fault it is" Susan shrugged getting to her feet.

"I'll just be leaving" Lucy brushed past Jack to go above deck.

"Are you OK?" Jack asked, "You worried me up there."

"I'm fine" Susan looked into his eyes, "you were worried about me? Why?"

"Well, I have never seen you so mad before" he rubbed the back of his neck as he avoided her eyes, "and well, I didn't quite understand why you were angry."

"I… er… he…" Susan sighed, "I didn't think I would be coming back."

"Back?" Jack asked.

"Aslan told my other bother Peter and I that we will not be coming back, and well, now I'm back right when I was excepting that I will never be back," Susan said sadly.

"What is this place?"

"Narnia" Susan said.

"This is fantastic" Jack said, "I mean… A place like this… these creatures… it's amazing."

"Well I still have trouble understanding how a place like this could be real" Susan said, "I know it exists… we are here… but I don't understand how this place works. Magic. The creatures. I just don't know."

"Know what?" Jack asked, taking a glance at her face. She looked like a shadow of the Susan he knew. Her face was constricted into a visage of confusion and fear. Susan's blue eyes showed her pain of the return.

"How this place could exist without the knowledge of our world and how our world doesn't know of this one; how we could know of these creatures such as centaurs and dwarfs and talking animals without them inhabiting our world?"

"That is a good point, but that is not all that is bothering you" Jack placed a hand on her arm, "there is something more."

"No there isn't" She lied though her teeth, "I'm fine, just… just…"

"What" He asked softly, moving closer to her.

"About this" She said, leaning against the pole behind her, "This is new to me."

"I can help" Jack said, "You are confused about something. Nervous almost. I could lighten the load."

"I'm fine" She said looking at his arm as Jack braced himself against the pole so he could lean down.

"Loosen up" He turned her chin gently with his hand, "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Excuse me" The two looked up to see Caspian, "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing" Susan said quickly, "Talking, just talking."

"It looked a little more than just talking" Caspian glared at Jack.

"Cass, it's nothing… he is always like this" Susan said and received a glare as well.

"Really" Caspian crossed the room, not looking away from Jack, "Tell me Jack. Are you always this close with your pupils?"

"No" Jack said removing his hand from above Susan's head, "most of my students are boys anyway. Susan is different; we are more like friends then student and teacher, unless we are practicing."

"Jack, stop" Susan pleaded, "This is not helping."

"Helping with what?" Caspian asked.

"Nothing" Susan looked down at her hands.

"Susan" Caspian placed a hand on her shoulder, "you can tell me."

"No."

"Cass" Peter burst into the room, "oh." He looked at Jack's tall figure standing behind Susan and back at Caspian who was standing close to Susan.

"Ah Peter" Caspian removed his hand, "what is it?"

"What are you to doing to my sister?" Peter asked looking at his sister's nervous face.

"Nothing" Jack and Caspian said together.

"Drinian needs you at the helm" Peter said to Caspian, "Jack… you are an outsider… you better watch yourself around some of the crew, many of them don't like humans. All the other humans are either Lords, kings or queens, so they have to deal with it. You are not."

"Really" Jack said, "are you a Lord, Peter?"

"No, I'm High King Peter the Magnificent" He answered, "Queen Susan the Gentle, Queen Lucy the Valiant and King Edmund the Just. We are the Kings and Queens of Old."

"You are a queen?" Jack looked at Susan.

"I'm not crowned anymore, Caspian in the king now" Susan said, "I was Queen a long time ago. It's a long story."

"Do you mind telling me?"

"Not now" Susan said, "maybe later."

"Cool."


	4. Dreams that Blur

A.N.: Hey, thanks for reading this. I'm sort of coming up with this as it goes, so sorry if it's doesn't flow right. This is my first Narnia Fic, and hopefully not my last. . Er… anyway… this chapter is named after the Kutless song "More than it Seems" because it fits with the plot of this story, and it is on one of the Narnia Albums.

This is dedicated to Darkangelzone who has been a big help in making this story possible.

Chapter 4 Dreams that Blur

Susan walked out of the room, "Excuse me" She said to Jack. She mentally checked her list of things to get done. Caspian still has feelings for her. Jack just nearly kissed her, so obviously he has feeling for her. Finding a way home is impossible if no one even remembered how she got here. Susan crossed that off the list. Now all she needed to find out is which one, either Caspian or Jack, she liked the most and why was she here. Susan didn't think it had to do with Caspian because Peter is here, but yet again, Peter might be here because he'll feel left out if only Susan, Lucy and Ed were here.

Susan spotted her brother Edmund up by the bow spirit. "Ed, what is the reason we are here?"

"Truthfully, I really don't know" Edmund said, "I know Caspian in in search of something or someone, who I don't know… I think he is looking for Aslan's country or the lone Islands or something. He talks a lot about Aslan so that is what we assume."

"Aslan's Country is sort of like Narnia's Heaven" Susan said, "He can't be sailing to that… there is no way. Caspian must be using it as a cover up. The crew is in on the plan. Cas is sailing to the lone islands."

"It's heaven?" Ed made a face, "That makes sense. No one who goes to Aslan's Country comes back to Narnia."

"the only thing I don't understand is that you can go there even if you are not dead or dying" Susan said, "That makes it a mystery."

"Most of Narnia is a Mystery, Sue" Ed said.

"I know" She said making a face at him, "That is why this place gives me headaches."

"Only you, Sue" Ed laughed. She punched him in the arm.

"Look who is talking" Susan said, "You are the one who has been trying to enlist in the army. You are only fourteen. Wait your turn and enlist during the next war. Only you would do that."

"I think that my skills would help me" Ed smirked and stuck out his chest.

"Yeah your skills with a sword will get you very far" Susan said sarcastically.

"Hey, they have knives" Ed said.

"That is not the primary weapon, Ed" She said, "Have you ever fired a gun." Ed opened his mouth to speak, "A real gun." He closed his mouth and frowned at her.

"Hey guys" Lucy walked over to them, "Hey Susan, you said you have been learning to use a sword. Can you show us?"

"Uh… sure" Susan hesitated, "Do you mind Ed?"

"Not at all" Edmund said drawing his sword, "I'll take any chance to beat you butt, sis."

"Thank you, Ed, for those inspiring words" Susan said cheerfully as she drew a sword right out of a passing crewmen's belt.

"Hey" said the faun.

"I need to borrow this" she said, "I'll give it back."

The Faun said nothing because Susan turned away towards her brother. Ed smirked, confident as ever.

"Be easy" Susan said, "I'm just a beginner and we have no armor."

Ed just laughed and slashed at her. Susan batted it away and swung her blade into an uppercut. Ed leaned back to avoid getting his head cut off.

"I thought you said you were a beginner" Ed said after blocking a few more powerful blows.

"I didn't say I was not good with a blade" Susan raised her eyebrows as she shoved him away, "Is something wrong, Ed, you seem a little tense."

"Tense" He laughed nervously, blocking another blow, "I'm not tense."

Susan laughed as she finally found her rhythm. Jack was swift and would never let her find it with well-timed combos that left her unable to get time to attack back with her blade. Earlier today at the studio was a first for her.

"Enough" a sword shot out and blocked Susan's attack, "It's my turn now."

Caspian lunged at Susan's chest. She parried and hit him in the face with the pommel of her sword. Caspian stepped back with a laugh, and then suddenly lunged again. She moved out of the way. He slashed, she blocked. She'll advance, he'll push her back. Susan knew he was going easy on her, which she was both glad and limiting. He could easily over power her, but she was upset that he wasn't giving his all.

"you are good, Susan" Caspian said and disarmed her, "but not good enough."

"Well I don't want to hurt you" Susan said, "Ed's my brother, he'll just walk it off. You're the king, and your country depends on you."

"you are a queen" Caspian said, "and should be treated like a lady, even with a sword in your hand. If I even just grazed the skin or left a bruise, I would regret it forever."

"Forever?" She repeated, "You have guilt problems."

"No I don't" He said quickly, "I just have problems with my decisions."

"Oh really?" Susan took his hand and lead him away, "You can tell me about it."

"I don't know, Sue" Caspian said nervously, "Some of them are embarrassing."

"I won't laugh," she said with a smile, "too hard."

"now I see the old Susan" Caspian laughed, "The gentle, sweet Susan."

"Do you mean that?" she asked as they entered his quarters.

"I said it, didn't I?" Caspian wrapped and arm around her shoulder.

"I miss you, Cass" Susan hugged him. He hugged her back.

"I missed you too; it's hard the rule a country when the one you love is far away."

"Uh" She hesitated.

"Yes, I love you, Susan" Caspian leaned down to kiss her.

"Cass" Susan pulled away, "I'm sorry. I'm don't think I'm ready for something like this. I like you, but I'm not ready to do this."

"Does this have to do with Jack?"

"No… not really" Susan said, "He is one of my friends and well recently we were going to closer."

"How close?"

"Well… he took me to dinner a few days ago" Susan stumbled over her words, "And when he drove me home his kissed me on the cheek… and well… er… It felt nice, and I thought about you and how Aslan said I won't be coming back."

Caspian's jaw clenched, "Well your back now. Here with me. Where you belong."

"I don't know where I belong, Cass" Susan said, "Is it here in Narnia or in England?"

"You could become crowned queen if you stay with me" He offered and touched the smooth skin of her shoulder, making her shiver.

"Cass."

"I love you Susan" Caspian pulled her into another hug. She tried to resist but knew she is no match for him, "I always have and always will."

Caspian went to kiss her. Susan tried to pull away, but he held her to him by the back of her neck and her lower back. His lips were soft and warm. His hands were gentle and massaged her lovingly. She moaned into his lips as he stuck his tongue into her mouth, tasting her.

_He tastes so good_, Susan sighed in her mind as she added _'good kisser'_ right under _'he loves me'_ on her mental list of things of what she likes about Caspian.

Susan's hands ventured into his long dark hair and twisted it with her fingers. He was so happy when she began to kiss him back with the same hunger and intensity, she could feel a smile form on his lips. She moaned again as his lips ventured down her jaw and neck.

"Oh Caspian" She groaned, he fingers felt his chest through his tunic. He nipped her shoulder and Susan gasped. Caspian laughed and returned to her lips.

"I love you so much Susan" he said in between kisses.

"I know" She pulled away. Caspian looked sad for a second.

"Going to go run to Jack?" he asked. Susan shrugged.

"I don't know who I like better, you or Jack" Susan said, "I want to give the both of you an equal chance."

"So are you going to kiss him?" Caspian asked and she shrugged.

"This is why I didn't want to kiss you, Cass" Susan said, "So I wouldn't get you mad if I kissed him and you found out. I do like you Cass… Really... I'm just torn."

He nodded and let her out of the room, "Just remember I'll always love you, even if you choose him."


	5. Libis Opus Jack

A.N.: Happy Easter to all of you. Read ant Review please. The Title is from "Here comes the King." (It's Latin for you who like to translate. You'll laugh when you do.)

Chapter 5 Libis Opus Jack

"Bye, Cass" She kissed his cheek and ran off before he could say another word. Caspian X looked at nothing in particular as he touched his cheek where her lips brushed the skin.

"YES! YES, YES, YES!" He started jumping up and down after he closed his door, "I DID IT! WHOOOHOOO! I DID IT!"

"Sir?" a Minotaur poked their head it, "Are you OK? I heard you shouting."

"Hmm?" Caspian whipped his hands on his pants, blushing violently, "I don't know what you are talking about. I'm fine." The Minotaur disappeared. "YES!" Caspian hissed as he fist pumped.

*∆Ω∆*

"Hey Sue" Jack said sitting next to her at the stern behind the wheel. The two of them sat there for a few minutes, "I saw you fight your brother. It was very good."

"Thank you. I learned from the best" Susan giggled, "and he taught me that I can do everything a man can do and kick but while I do it."

"I don't remember teaching you that, but OK, if that is what you got from it," Jack laughed.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" Susan asked him. Jack is drawn to pretty things and is obsessed with image, but deep down inside she wanted to know herself. Was she as pretty as she thought she looked or was her mind masking the truth?

"You are very pretty, Susan" Jack said poking her nose gently, "A pretty thing such as you has no place here on a ship sailing to places she doesn't understand. You deserve to have to best of everything without having to fight for it or journey into the unknown for answers. You belong in America where the magic is science."

"You think so?"

"Yep" Jack said elbowing her playfully. She pushed back with a laugh. He laughed too.

_He has a wonderful laugh_, she thought with a smile. _And his lips are perfect… every time I look at them I want to kiss them._

"May I kiss you?" Susan asked. It felt awkward to say, but it is polite.

He smiled and leaned over and kissed her gently. She reacted instantly kissing him back. It didn't feel the same as Caspian's, it was unique, one of a kind. She concluded that everyone must kiss differently, and taste differently. His hands were not a gentle as Cass's. He groped her body making her feel heat low in her body. This scared Susan and made her want to stop, but the ecstasy of Jack touching her and kissing her was too strong. The swirl of emotions made her unsure of what to do, so she let him lead. Jack began to shove her down and laid on top of her and his kiss went down to her throat. Susan gasped lightly.

"Oh look at what we have here" Reepicheep said lazily, "A public display of affection."

"Oh, it's the mouse again" Jack said, "Scram… you are ruining the moment."

"Jack" Susan said, "Can you get off of me? You are crushing my ribs and I can't breathe." Jack rolled off of her.

"Sure" He ran a hand from her hips down her thigh, making her shiver, "Anything for you."

"Don't tell Peter, Reepicheep, please" Susan pleaded to the warrior mouse.

"As you wish, your majesty" Reepicheep bowed and scampered off.

"Where were we?" Jack asked Susan.

"Sorry, Jack, but I'm hungry and haven't eaten all day" Susan suddenly got to her feet and ran off.

"Sue?" Jack called after her, "did I do something wrong? Was I too strong? Did I hurt you?"

"No" She called back, "I'm fine."

"Good" He said, "You scared me for a second."

*∆Ω∆*

"How did I go?" Lucy asked her older sister.

"It was strange" Susan admitted, "To be kissed by two boys in one day."

"Sounds like you liked it" Lucy laughed.

"It was pretty fun" Susan nodded.

"Which one did you like better?"

"Cass was gentle and loving" Susan said, "Jack was hard and passionate."

"you didn't answer my question."

"I still don't know which one" Susan sighed, "I need to think about it some more."

"Well think fast" Lucy said, "I overheard that we'll be arriving in a two days."

"The lone island?" Susan asked. Lucy nodded.

"Another adventure" Lucy squealed with excitement.

Susan smiled halfheartedly, she didn't always like adventures. The one she was going on right now was the most exciting one she has ever been on, but not the most enjoyable. She just has to hold on for the ride.


	6. Where Does Forever Die?

6. Where Does Forever Die?

"How was it?" Caspian asked Susan then next morning, "Jack and you?"

"It was OK" Susan shrugged looking out across the sea, "When are you going to choose?"

"Come again?" Caspian asked, hoping she didn't mean when he thought she meant.

"Choose on heading" Susan said, "You are saying Aslan's Country but I say you are going to the lone islands. Why? Why are we going there?"

"I'm looking for the Seven Lost Lords of Telmar" Caspian explained, "They are friends of my father and were his council. I want to help on leading this country like my father, with peace and equality. I don't remember my mother, and little of my father."

"You also want to know what your parents were like" Susan said. He nodded. "How do you know they are not dead?"

"I don't know if they are alive or dead. I just can hope and pray that they are."

Susan places a hand over his. Caspian smiled at her, and she returned one. Someone cleared their throat from behind them. The two looked over their shoulders and jumped apart.

"What are you two doing" Jack looked angry, "hands off, Caspian, she is mine."

Caspian looked at the sword in Jack's hand. This is not going to be good.

"Jack, don't" Susan saw the sword too and was terrified of the outcome.

"I should tell you" Caspian said, "I was here first."

"So" Jack smirked, "then you all split… you had your chance. It's my turn." Caspian touched the hilt of his blade.

"We were forced" Caspian snapped, drawing his sword, "Aslan made her leave and go back to her world."

"No" Susan said, "Stop."

"Well… I agree with Aslan" Jack laughed and stabbed at Caspian.

Caspian parried and slashed. Jack jumped back, the blade barely missed. Jack swung his sword and the two blades skidded against each other, sending sparks everywhere. Caspian moved to disarm Jack, but Jack slashed his sword and grazed his opponent's cheek.

"Cass!" Susan gasped at her friend yelped in pain. She went for her bow, which she always carries, but it is no use in such short range. "Jack stop."

Caspian stared at Jack for a moment. He realized that Jack is trying to either: 1. Kill him; 2. Make a point to leave Susan alone, or 3. Show off. Any of these are plausible as Caspian blocked an attack. A close call… but the fight was not over.

"Please, stop it" Susan begged, "PETER! HELP! ED! PLEASE HELP! "

Peter, Ed and Lucy were above deck before Susan finished yelling. Peter drew his sword, not knowing what to do. Well, he knew what to do, but he didn't know how to do it. Peter could easily hurt Caspian and Jack if he is not careful.

"Why are they fighting?" Ed yelled over the clang of steal.

"This bastard is trying to steel my girl" Jack grunted, spattering blood all over the Pevensies from a cut in his arm.

"While this ass is trying to kill me" Caspian said kicking at Jack.

"STOP IT YOU TWO!" Susan shouted, "PLEASE."

Jack ignored her and slashed Caspian's leg. Caspian yelled in pain and feel to one knee. Susan reached violently by grabbing Peter's blade from his hand and blocked the final blow that would kill Caspian.

"Enough" Susan said and disarmed Jack, "Killing is never an option, and it hurts not just the fighters but those who are close to them."

Susan dropped Peter's blade and disappeared below deck.

"Attacking the King is a crime punishable by death" Edmund said to Jack as he took rope and tied Jack's wrists behind his back.

"We need to get you below" Peter helped Caspian to his feet.

"Ahh" Caspian gasped, "I'm fine… it's just a scratch."

"Well you are going do even if you don't want to" Peter drugged Caspian below deck while Ed and Lucy lead Jack down to the brig.


	7. Would You Kill to Save a Life?

A.N.: You'll cry… more than once… trust me…  
>This goes out to Darkangelzone and Thegentlequeen who have kept me going… and to those facing injury, death, or other devastating event due to weather or war. May they find their way back.<p>

7. Would You Kill to Save a Life?

"Ouch" Caspian gasped clawing at the blanket on his hammock.

"Sorry" Susan pulled the towel with cordial away, "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault" Caspian said as the pain ebbed slightly, "I should have seen Jack for what he really was."

"He was just angry" Susan said, "I didn't tell him about what I'm doing. He was reacting on instinct."

"Are you defending him?" Caspian hissed through the stinging pain of her cleaning his wounded leg.

"No" Susan said, "He just doesn't understand."

"_I _don't understand" Caspian grunted in pain. Susan sighed.

"I'm sorry Cass" Susan felt like she was going to cry.

"I'm sorry too" Caspian muttered.

"Excuse me" Susan was angry, "excuse me for not wanting to hurt anyone. Excuse me for coming back. Excuse me forever thinking you were the one for me."

"Sue" Caspian caught her wrist before she could storm out, "I'm sorry for making you feel the way you do. I didn't mean for this to happen either. It just did. I'm happy you came back, but happiness sometimes has its draw backs."

"Let go Caspian" Susan tried to pull out of his grip, but he was too strong.

"No" He pulled her to him, "You don't have to do this alone."

"Cass" she warned, her body resting against his.

"Susan, you are upset and I'm trying to help you" Caspian kissed the top of her head, "It ok to be comforted. I won't tell anyone if you want to cry."

"Cass" Susan said as she nuzzled his collar bone, "That is the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me."

"Really?"

"Yes" she said.

The feeling of dread and anxiety was tight in her chest. She felt hopeless, but at least this time she wasn't alone. Susan had Caspian to make her feel better.

"Susan?" Caspian asked, "Does this make you feel better?"

"A bit" Susan said.

"Is there anything I could do to make it ever better?"

She thought for a moment, unable to think of anything.

"Just hold me" Susan said, Caspian pulled her closer to him. The feeling of being press up against each other was numbing.

"As you wish, my queen" Susan giggled playfully at his words.

She looked into his eyes. Caspian's eyes held no lust like Jack's did, they held love and compassion. Susan reacted on impulse, without even having the thought in her brain. She kissed him. He kissed her back. It was gentle and loving, less passionate than last time. He just held her close as she lay carefully in his lap, so as not to hurt his leg. Susan ran a hand into his hair and gripped his shirt to keeping him close to her. He pulled away and received a sad look from Susan.

"This is not right" Caspian said, "You are hurting and I don't want to take advantage over you."

"But I want this Cass" Susan said, "Right now, I just want you. I don't care about Jack right now."

"I don't want to do something you'll regret later" he said, "I don't want to hurt you."

"All I feel is pain" she said desperately, "I think you can help I stop."

"We are too young."

"I want you, Cass" Susan said, "I need you. I know you want me but you are too modest to ask. You think you'll hurt me. I'm already in pain because of you. Now you get a change to make it better."

"I love you, Susan; you are just really fragile right now. You are blinded by your pain and sadness."

"Fragile?" she asked, "I'm not fragile… I'm just in a complicating state of emotions."

"Right" He smiled, "I'm not going to do this. You are too young."

"But I need you, Cass" Susan pleaded, "Just this once, please."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Caspian" she said, "I want you to make love to me."

"Tell me if I hurt you. I'll stop."

"You won't hurt me."

"Are you sure?" Caspian asked, lying on top of her in his hammock.

"Yes, because you love me."

*∆Ω∆*

"I brought you some food" Lucy stuck a plate of food between the bars to the prisoner.

"Thank you" Jack said taking the food, "How is Caspian?"

"Susan is tending to his wounds" Lucy answered.

"I didn't mean to do that" Jack banged his head against the bars, "It just happened. I got jealous and attacked him. Once it started, I couldn't stop."

"If it makes you feel better," Lucy said, "I can heal your arm."

"No thank you" Jack waved his hand and began to eat his sausages and bread, "but thanks for the offer."

Lucy nodded and walked away.

"Jack" Reepicheep appeared, "I can't believe you did that."

"I can't believe I did it either, little mouse," Jack said, gulping down his water, "I just reacted. I had little control."

"Maybe a leash" Reepicheep joked.

"I have an idea," Jack said, "it'll get me out of this mess, but I can't tell anyone. When am I being executed?"

"Sundown" the mouse answered.

*∆Ω∆*

"We are gathered here today, to witness the execution of Jack Marcus Donnelly for the crime of attempted murder of the King of Narnia, Caspian X" said one of the crew members.

Jack stood on the plank, tied up with a sword resting on his neck. They were going to behead him and toss his lifeless body into the sea. Very lovely, just what he wanted actually. To be buried at sea, just in a different way.

"Any last wishes?" Caspian asked Jack.

"Yes I do" Jack said, "I wish to have a duel. If I win, I'm home free. If I lose, I die."

"With who?" Caspian asked.

"Reepicheep" Jack said.

"Do you except this, Reepicheep?" Caspian asked the mouse who was standing on Lucy's shoulder.

"Yes, your majesty" the mouse bowed and scurried over to Jack.

Jack was untied and handed a blade. It was light and would be easier for Reepicheep to fight against, they had to make this fight somewhat fear. Reepicheep was fast and a small target, while Jack is tall and strong. They even out. The mouse drew his rapier, holding it at the ready.

"A fight to the death" Reepicheep said with a nod, "Winner takes all."

"Sorry, little mouse" Jack said, "but I have been waiting for this moment."

"As have I" the mouse said to the brunette.

"On your mark" Peter did the honors. Jack and Reepicheep held up their swords, "one… two… three."

The two collided. Reepicheep slashed at Jack's face before colliding with the man. Jack gasped and threw the mouse off of him. Reepicheep recovered, and cut at Jack's ankles. Jack kicked Reepicheep across the deck. Lucy gasped and Peter wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Reepicheep squeaked loudly and went back to attack. This was hard for Jack to do because he grew fond of this warrior mouse, and wished he got to know Reepicheep better before this point. This is the only way to get back Susan. Susan stared blackly at the battle for Caspian's side, not talking, moving, or even blinking. This is putting a big toll on her.

"You're very good," the mouse said to Jack, "but not good enough." The mouse jumped up and slashed Jack in the eye. Jack yelped, holding his eye.

"SHIT!" Jack yelped, holding his eye as blood trickled between his fingers, "I think it came out! OUCH!"

"Give up?' Reepicheep asked raising an eyebrow.

"Never in a million years, little mouse" Jack smirked and swatted the lunging mouse away from his face. "That is for my eye."

"OOF" the warrior mouse gasped and his rib cage shattered as his fragile frame collided with the deck.

"REEPICHEEP!" Lucy cried. Peter wrapped his arms around her to top her from running to the dying mouse, "NO! REEPICHEEP! GET UP! ANSWER ME! REEPICHEEP! LET GO, I CAN SAVE HIM! LET ME GO!"

"Your majesty" Reepicheep gasped, "Don't weep for me. Jack, you are the best swordsmen I have ever come across."

"You were brave, little mouse" Jack knelt down next to Reepicheep. He took his knife and looked sadly at the mouse for approval. Reepicheep nodded and Jack brought down the knife.

"NOOOO!" Lucy screamed, tears streaming down her face.


	8. Looking For an Inch of Hope

A.N.: YES! I KNOW I KILLED REEPICHEEP… he is one of my favorite characters, but it had to be done… As you can tell, my chapters have been leaning towards Caspian… You Suspian fans may still be disappointed. I like Caspian just as much as I like this sketchy Jack character. She could still choose him… I know who she is going to choose… but I'm not telling anyone… especially you [point at random person] (If you don't get some of my humor watch either Foster's home for imaginary friends, Naruto Abridged or A Very Potter Musical/Sequel) One last thing, remember a portkey is created out of a seeming harmless object like a football or a dolphin…

I'm still fighting the _Rogue Machine_.

8. Looking For an Inch of Hope

The numbness was getting worse. The pain in her heart was holes in her soul. Someone she cared about killed another friend of hers. While another person she cared about is being a jerk about it by avoiding her. He said he loved her, was it a lie to be the first to take her. Did he suddenly change his mind after their time together that she is not the one for him? What did she do?

Susan sighed, sitting at her normal place by the bowsprit. She thought hard because this decision would change not just her life, but also the lives of everyone she knew both in Narnia and at home in England. If she chooses Narnia, she'll never see her parents again. If she goes home, she'll break poor Caspian's heart. This was her choice, and she'll just have to cope with the consequences.

She is the last hope for Jack or Caspian. They both seem desperate, almost as much as she does. They both want her. She knows Caspian wants her, even if he is hiding it; it's just that he probably doesn't want to admit what he did to her. Susan still doesn't know if he liked it. They both know that the decision rests on her. If she chooses Narnia, she'll have Caspian. If it is earth she chooses, she gets Jack.

"Hey sis" Edmund appeared, "Whatcha thinking about. That Jack bloke is a real ass… I mean he killed Reepicheep and almost Caspian. He is bad news."

"Thanks for those kind words of wisdom" Susan nodded sarcastically, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Are you OK, Sue?" Edmund asked with a concerned look, "You seem down."

"I'm fine, Ed" She answered her annoying brother, "But thanks for asking."

Edmund smile and walked away, and soon replaced by a pissed Peter.

"Caspian, that bastard!" Peter barked.

"What did he do?" Susan asked with a bored, she really was saying _'what did _you_ do this time?'_

"He called me a snitch because I told him to not touch you" Peter said, "He is hurting you." He brushed the hicky on her neck and the bruise on her arm from his grip on her yesterday afternoon. She lifted her makeshift scarf over her neck to hide the bruise.

"I'd stay away from him if I were you" Peter walked away.

Susan got just a few moments to think before she was graced with the presence of her youngest sibling.

"Susan?" Lucy stood next to her older sister and looked out at the sea, "Have you made a decision?"

"Not quite" Susan said not looking at Lucy, "This is hard. The consequences would be life changing for so many people. Why did Aslan send me back here? I'm no use on a ship; I don't know how to do anything."

"You haven't even tried anything," Lucy said looking up at her dark haired, older sibling.

"No one has offered."

"So, all you do is walk over to the ratlines and climb up the help secure the sails, or something like that" Lucy said.

"You make it seem easy," Susan said.

"It is easy."

"Well, I have better things to do than die by falling off the hawks nest, thank you" Susan said, returning to her thinking.

Susan thought long and hard on a decision. She had to think fast. If she could, Susan can save both parties grief and jealousy. This was the only way, but in the end, the only one she'll be hurting the most is herself.

A.N.: Shot and sweet… sad and quiet… CALM BEFORE THE STORM! WARNING!

What you'll need for next chapter:  
>one or two boxes of tissues<br>an open mind  
>positive attitude<br>one gentle heart

THIS NEXT CHAPTER MAY BLOW YOU AWAY!

Current broadcast of _The Boy I Missed_ will return tomorrow  
>:Advertisement:<br>"Dolphins… they make great portkeys"


	9. Wake Up, Wake Up Dreaming

A.N.: This is it… THE END of the Boy I Missed… Beautiful story… my favorite…. I never knew that this this story would be this popular. It's been about nine or ten days since I started this story and it was fun. I thank all of you who wrote comments and gave me ideas. For those like Darkangelzone and Thegentlequeen who have been with me since day one. The two of them kept me going with Suspian this and Jacksan (I just now made that up) that… Truthfully this is what I planned in the beginning but I didn't think it would work… hold tight… have tissues handy… and don't forget to Review. ;) I'm planning on another Suspian! All I can say is 

9. Wake up, Wake up Dreaming

"Good evening, your highness" A faun bowed at Susan, as she entered the dining hall.

"Excuse me" Susan bowed back and walked on. She gave up on wearing full dresses several days back. They got in the way, got caught on things. Susan has ruined two of her favorite gowns. Caspian loaned her and her sister trousers. Poor Lucy, hers were so big on her, Susan spent hours hemming them so they would fit. Susan didn't like pants too much, but it was better than ruining her elegant gowns.

"You look well," Caspian said, pulling out a chair for her.

"I don't feel well," Susan said under her breath.

"How so?" Caspian asked, taking his seat next to her. Peter sat on the other side of Caspian with a pouty visage.

"it's hard to explain" Susan said, "Hey Lucy?"

"Yes?" her sister looked up from her plate.

"I think one of your stories would lighten the mood" Susan said, "would you tell us the story about how you to here and about Mr. Tumnus? Or even better, that dream about Aslan, the one in the forest?"

"Sure" Lucy took one last bite of her food and everyone went quite. Lucy was a great story teller because she remembered almost every detail of everything she has experienced. The twelve year old cleared her throat and began her story.

"It was the first evening of the last time we returned to Narnia. Everything has changed and everything was strange. My siblings and I were trying to find our way across the gorge to get to Aslan's How. I was lying awake staring at the stars thinking about Aslan because he helped us cross the gorge, but I was the only on to see him. Susan rolled over and asked me we she didn't see Aslan. I told her I didn't know and that maybe he didn't want her to see him. Susan looked sad and betrayed. I believe she thought that Aslan didn't trust Peter, Ed and her. We both wondered if he meant for us to return. Susan sighed sadly saying that she was finally getting used to London and living a normal life. I just had to ask her if she liked it here in Narnia, and that she was glad to be back. She told me that she I'll like it while it lasts but wouldn't get her hopes up because we'll be going back once we are not needed anymore. That made me feel sad, because I knew it was true. Before I knew it, it I was asleep. I woke up to a rustling sound. I looked back at my family, and then I chased after whatever was there. I climbed up the hill and heard giggling. I turned and smiled at pink flower peddles flowing on the wind. There were two sets, and they were both giggling. One formed into a woman with long flowing hair. I laughed lightly as they floated around me. They lead me to a ridge where the trees moved out of the way to show Aslan. I was so happy that I ran up to him and hugged his fluffy, golden mane. We both laughed happily at our reunion. WE missed each other very much. I asked him where he has been and where was he when Narnia need him the most. Why he didn't help us. He told me that things never happen the same way twice… Then I woke up… It was a dream."

"That is it" Susan said, "Things never happen the same way twice. That is the answer…"

"What are you talking about?" Caspian asked, shoving food into his mouth.

"The answer to my question" Susan said, "I know why I'm here… I'm here solely to change the course of time, to stop something from happening again, to give my throne completely up to Caspian. I can't be crowned queen twice."

"What?" Caspian rose to his feet, "What are saying."

"Many of the Narnians still call me queen" Susan explained, "But I can't be queen twice. Even though marriage."

"No!" Caspian shouted, "Don't say that! You can't mean it. After all that has happened. You,you are going to leave me again?"

"I'm sorry, Cass" Susan said sadly, "But this is not my real home."

"Does that mean you love Jack more than me?"

"No, I love you Caspian," Susan said boldly, "It's just not meant to be."

"Sue" He whispered, "I can't lose you again."

"Don't cry, baby" Susan said softly and embraced him, "I love you… It's just I can't be here to love you."

"I don't want to lose you," Caspian held her close to him.

"Where do I stand?" Jack stood from a small table in the corner, "If I may ask?"

"Shut up" snarled Caspian.

"no" Jack said and raised his eyebrows.

"Not now, Jack" Susan ordered. Jack stood down by letting go of the hilt of his blade, "Jack, I like you, but I realized it's not in the way you think. Can we just be friends?"

"What are you saying?" Caspian asked.

"I choose neither of you," Susan said, pulling away from Caspian, "I can't be with one of you without thinking about the other."

"Sue?" Peter began.

"No Peter, stay out of this," Susan snapped at her brother.

Peter began to talk again, but Lucy's foot stomped on his. He bit his lip to keep from crying out.

"you can't be serious, Sue" Jack said stepping closer to her and Caspian.

"I just want us all to be friends, for as long as we are on this voyage" Susan said, "No fights, no name calling and no touching me… or any sort."

"I can't be friends with, with this buffoon" Caspian pointed at Jack, "I tried to kill me and he killed Reepicheep."

"I can't be friends with this stuck up bastard" Jack said, "He gets everything he wants on a silver platter."

"That is not true" Caspian snarled, "My uncle killed my father and took the throne right from under my baby feet. I had to fight him to stop get the throne back and restore the peace in Narnia."

"Well I'll have you know, I'm fatherless too" Jack said, "He died on the journey to America from Ireland. A horrible illness killed him before we even knew he had it."

Caspian looked sad for a second.

"Look I'm sorry about your father and your uncle, I'm sorry about my father. The fact that you are a king now makes your life easier than a poor boy who only gets his money from fencing lessons."

"I'm sorry too, but the fact that you almost killed me doesn't change my feelings about you" Caspian said.

"So that settles it" Susan said, "behave, both of you… you both are fatherless and had a rough time. Keep that in mind next time you fight, both with words and or blades."

"Yes, m'lady" Jack bowed respectfully at Susan. Caspian nodded.

"good," Susan said, "I'll be watching you. Now, that was tiring, I'm going to retire."

"Wait for me" Lucy jumped to her feet and ran after her sister.

*∆Ω∆*

"Did you think I did the right thing?" Susan asked her sister.

The two of them are the only girls on the ship, so the share their own room right off of main room where everyone else besides Caspian sleeps. This room was once storage, but it was easily converted into a small living quarters for the two queens.

"I think so" Lucy said, "but it's up to you if it was the right thing or not. What do you think?"

"I think I did the right thing" Susan said, "I just wonder what they think."

"It'll take a while for them to get used to the change" Lucy said, "give them time."

"I will" Susan said, "You know I will."

A.N.: That is it… the end… Surprised? I hope you are… the next story… will be the sequel and it'll continue right where this one leaves off.


End file.
